I have been on a writing hiatus. Some of that comes from being busy trying to ‘move’ in to our house that has and is becoming home. Some of it comes from just being tired at the end of the day. Some of it comes from feeling heavy from life and some of the lemons it has thrown our way. And some of it comes from not always knowing what to write.
What to write. For me, this blog has been a way to express myself. A way to share, a way to unburden, a way to connect, a way to be creative, a way to not feel alone. However, I am also realizing that by sharing, I become vulnerable and perhaps make others vulnerable too. So it makes me afraid. Afraid to write. Afraid to share of my life in case it – unintentionally - hurts, offends or other. So I have been putting it off because, to be honest, I am afraid.
So for now… I will be safe.
OUR house is becoming home. We are starting to feel like a family again and we are starting to get used to this new abode. Our kitchen is in and looks fantastic! I will post pictures but there are still some little things to tweak before I show you the grand finale! You will love it. We will put off the tiling of the backsplash till spring, however, because we need a work break!! We already have a few new projects for dad once he is feeling up to it!! Those might include: TV wall shelves, etc., Children’s book display unit, closet – just saying, might (so if you are reading this dad, don’t panic!!).
We are learning to cook with gas – literally – and it is going really well. We finally broke down and bought a microwave much to Dexter’s relief! Leftovers served up the way they should… microwaved to perfection! We are now proud owners of MTS Internet and TV. The basement is still semi-full of boxes, but Bernie has been working hard to start creating a space down there. Learning a new house’s hiding/storing places is a bit of a challenge. Where things went and fit nicely in the last house don’t quite have the same spot to fit in nicely here. A few challenges – but what would life be without challenges.
Speaking of which… in one of the previous blogs I told you that our car had fallen off a hoist and we were waiting to hear what happened. Well, to our surprise, it was written off. This was not happy news at all. Bernie and I took a drive to Plessis to look at our vehicle – sniff sniff for the last time – and take out our belongings. The car looks good and is easily driveable, however, I guess the dents in it were enough to affect the structure and integrity of the frame and thus – done. This was sad. Alas… down to two vehicles… lovely as they are (not)! Well, they get us from point A to point B and really what else do we need? (Apparently not a radio – one vehicle doesn’t get stations outside the Fort Richmond area and the other doesn’t have full speakers so you need to crank it to get a fuzzy wuzzy sound!) OH yeah – and today we are taking our truck to Autopac because one of my daughters got rear-ended. They will soon know us by name!
My dad? He is such a trooper. He is amazing and I am so proud of him. He is taking this ‘C’ word and making it his mission field. His attitude – his “No matter what the outcome, I win” attitude is affecting people around him. Five days a week he heads to the city – sometimes with mom, sometimes alone and in the future probably with his daughters at times – for radiation treatments. Once a week he undergoes a chemo treatment on top of the radiation. After one week he is doing pretty well. A little tired, a little sore but pretty good. He jokes about the potential hair loss and has already made reservations to sit with a veteran of baldness in church – so they can be twins. When we tell him he has some chocolate on his chin whiskers, he says, “not to worry, when my hair falls out, so will the chocolate!”
Saying all this doesn’t make the road less challenging for him and I know that there are times where he sits and chats with his kids or his grandkids or his great grandkids and hopes that there are many years left of that. His curling that he loves and had to give up for this coming year is a challenge for him. And he knows that his family is struggling and trying to be brave and strong for him. Cancer is not normal and not easy and not fun – but I am so proud of my dad and my prayer is that even just one soul comes to Christ through this.
It is one of those pictures that speaks more than a thousand words could about marriage and committment through thick and through thin (even through bald)!
Lastly, but far from leastly, I relish the visits I get from my grandkids. I was privileged today to hug, kiss, carry, play, hug and kiss my two absolutely amazing grandkids – the genes are incredible!! My daughter-in-law came to the church’s Mom’s program and brought the little ones. Bentley went to play in the gym with the other kids and Thea went to the nursery. The nursery was jam packed today and many of the little ones were struggling without their moms this morning – so there were many tears. And it was like, in the words of one caregiver, like CONTAGION and the crying spread like wild fire! So Pastor Carl took his turn carrying around my granddaughter until I managed to smuggle her away. What a blessing to be able to hold my granddaughter in my workplace for a short period of time.
So… the plan is for the next blog – video of our reno’s - hopefully - we are still in disarray and not sure I can get that all in order enough to show you the finished product. But perhaps bits and pieces.