We are back from the Black Hills! And yesterday, Saturday, we were back at Bryn Mawr to continue renovations. This is the last holiday we want to make without being able to return to our actual home! 'Morty', as you can see in the picture, was one big BISON or TATOCKA that we met on our trip. That's his girlfriend beside him. It was a pretty amazing animal to see that close up.
But... that is done and we are back at work. Yesterday was one of those days that made me discouraged. Can't say what it was exactly. Perhaps it was coming off a vacation high and going back to personal work and work work that was getting to me. Perhaps it was that I thought we had accomplished more than we had before we left. Don't get me wrong, there was work done while we were gone. Between my parents and daughters the 'west' wing was basically done except for flooring. So that was fantastic. But yesterday, as you may notice in the video, I was discouraged and had to really push myself to work. Isn't that a weird thing. I am sad because there is not as much done as i dreamed and yet i can't get myself to get going to accomplish more tthings so i can fulfill the dream of more being done! haha!
So I hit a wall. Sometimes when my emotions get the best of me, I need to remove myself and sit down perhaps in the middle of an empty room - and chat out loud with God. I will say things like, "Did we make the right decision with this house? Are we doing the right thing? Am I wanting too much? Have I screwed up again? I can't do this! I can't keep this pace!" My relationship with God is one where i am in awe of Him and his power. I know what he can do and is capable of doing. My relationship is also one of a friend. Sometimes we just need a friend to listen. We are not expecting big answers nor a discussion back. We don't even need a, "It will be fine." We just need to spew, complain, cry, laugh, talk. So with God I do this and then I feel better. I remember that he is there for me. He is always around me and my heart and soul fill. I won't say that after that chat yesterday that i was recharged and just could run circles... I just knew that I ... could.
I heard something once that I love. God is kind of like a GPS. He has a goal in mind for us. He has a plan. However, he has given us freewill and choices to choose what path we want to take. And more often then not we choose badly. But God, like the GPS, recalculates and uses our current path to get us to the final destination. I love knowing that even when I feel like I have made the right choice, I might not have and that I am still loved and cared for by a God that simply recaluclates and uses my choice to still ultimately and hopefully reach that destination. My new path might be a lot harder and full of more detours - but God knows that path that I take and He is walking with him through it... recalulating as we walk.
SO... I did get off that floor and went back to work. I spent the day pulling off moldy peel and stick tiles, praying javex/ammonia on floor, and then painting with oil paint!!! (Definitely a rookie mistake as my son would say!)